The Power that Binds.

Do “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”

Anais Nin


You are perhaps wondering why I choose that famous quote, and what it has to do with my topic. Every time I read that certain quote I substitute woman for slave. I believe in that deeper instinct, that deeper level of having a man who can compel my strengths, who can also make demands on those very same strengths, knowing that I am tough, I have courage, and that his strength is stronger, more powerful. That is the power that binds, not with mere ropes, or cuffs, but with something stronger, more complete, more lasting, the mind. The soul. The absolute power exchange, better known as the total power exchange, TPE.


Total power exchange (TPE) is a derivative of the concept of power exchange in a master/slave relationship. The term refers to a relationship where the dominant or owner has complete authority and influence over the submissive's life, making the majority of decisions. TPE is occasionally referred to as 24/7, denoting that protocol in the D/s relationship is in play anytime, anyplace and the dominant partner gets complete power at all times of the day, though most consider these terms to have somewhat different definitions.

Total power exchange was coined by Steven S. Davis in the newsgroup alt.sex.bondage during his debates with Jon Jacobs in the mid 1990s:
A TPE (Total Power Exchange) relationship, sometimes described as an absolute lifestyle d&s relationship ... is a relationship in which no impediment to the exercise of the owner's power is accepted ... Such things as safewords, contracts, negotiated limits, and anything else which recognizes / acknowledges / formalizes limits on the owner's power are inimical to TPE.
Jacobs disliked the term TPE and preferred to talk about absolute power exchange (APE), but both terms continued to be problematic for some people, including many who pursue these types of relationship, since the relationship is subject to the physical and the emotional limitations of the participants and therefore cannot genuinely be total or absolute. Partly as a result of these objections, the term internal enslavement (IE) was developed in 2000, and is used to better describe the state of mind of these kinds of consensual slave.

So my question is this: Is it possible? On a human level, can we have absolute or total power exchange with another human being? What power binds us to that other person, without falling into an abusive relationship. Or are those lines indiscernible?

I would like to believe that it is possible, that even tho at times those lines can be indiscernible, we can have that absolute power exchange, that total power exchange in the Master/slave relationship. For it is the power that binds us to one another. It is all about choices, the choices we make in our unique relationships. Do we simply choose to give up that power, that control, or do we fight it every inch of the way, and making those choices harder and harder.

In a little over a week, about ten days my Owner is coming to live with me. Not just for a day, a weekend, a week, but moving in lock stock and barrel. Into *my* home, into *my* bedroom. Into *my* life. What exactly does that mean, does that mean that it ceases to be *my* home, *my* bedroom, *my* life, or does it mean that I choose to give up that power and it becomes *his*. Does it mean that I choose to exchange one bit of power for another, one part of power for another, or do I fight it to regain some part of that power for myself. Quite the question isn't it.

We could fight the semantics of it all, or we could just go with the flow and exchange that power on a level that most will never obtain. I know there will be arguments, I know there will be struggles within that power exchange, I know there will be times of trials and errors. But I also know that he compels my strengths, just as I surrender to his. I know that trust is imperative to creating a relationship such as this, to any relationship, but in ours, it must be absolute, it must be total. For there are no ropes that shall hold me here, there are no chains that shall tie me to the surrendering of one's soul.

It is the power that binds me.