Storms in Life.

Many times in life we experience *storms*. We have fierce storms, gentle storms or even at times those, *perfect storms*. Today I had a fierce storm in my life. Not the capacity of a perfect storm, but a storm nonetheless. Don't you hate those days when you wake up and think that you will have a *good* day only to find out that your weather gauge was off! Well that is my day today!

First off I woke early to the sounds of snowplows running up and down the street, waking me from an already disturbed sleep. And then to find out my brother-in-law was diagnosed with M.S. And then yet more problems on the verge with a nephew and an ex! Ohhh what a glorious day! Yea right! But knowing the way my brain works, trying to still that ever racing part, I place my role into a character, known as Scarlett, from "Gone with the Wind." You know what I mean, " I just can't possibly worry about such things today. I'll worry about them tomorrow." type of behavior.

That would be me on those days! Until those days mount up and at the end of whatever time passes, they catch up with you! Sooooo today I have been trying to think of ways to better myself and try not to just lose myself in Scarlett's behavior. And in thinking about that, I came to the conclusion life is like storms. Sometimes they rage, they brew, they come in quickly and leave as if nothing ever happened........sometimes they come in savagely and leave damage in its wake.....I think perhaps today is someplace in between.......Although even in the storm there is beauty......there are brilliant flashes of lightning that flash across the sky, showing us the many stunning colors that exist in our Universe. The rain leaves behind growth, renewel, strength, a fresh clean scent that washes away the grime, the dirt......

And then my brain went to how storms can be like relationships......fierce, harsh, gentle, loving, beautiful, ugly.......We can love fiercely in life and make sure that no one is damaged by the relationship we share.....we can love gently in the night when it comes to merely holding hands when our loved ones are sick, afraid, nervous.......But is there such a thing as a perfect storm in a relationship, or what we would call, perfect love?

No, nothing is perfect, not even a storm......What we can have is all that it can be, and as close to perfection in that.......we can love with our whole hearts, our souls, our passions....even in those less than perfect times......To know that our loved one is close at hand.....to always say I am sorry if a wrong has been done......even at times if it hasn't, and the other one feels that it was.....

A note unexpectedly sent that says, "I love you." ......A phone call to a loved one that you haven't spoken to in a while......A nice gesture to show that you appreciate your loved one......so many things to make sure that other person knows you care, you love them......

By now you are probably asking how did she get from talking about storms, to love......Another crazy lady's ramblings perhaps.........but then again, if this old jaded lady can feel love fiercely when she thought it was gone from her life........and feel it rage against the storm......

You can too!!!!

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH!!!!! And rage against the storm!!!!!!

Dark Surrender.

Another day, another post. Only this time I have some exciting news to share with you!!! My Owner has allowed me to have a new site!! YAY!!! In which to share with all my friends and hopefully more new friends! It is called, "Dark Surrender" and I hope to see you all there. On the right bar is the link, please feel free to stop on over. I have read so many of your blogs here, and would love to meet as many as I can.

Perhaps you are wondering why we chose the name, "Dark Surrender" for our site. It seems to fit the life in which we live. It isn't always pink and fluffy as some would think it to be. It is a 24/7 journey of reality into the world of Master/slave. There are bumps along the way, thorns to be ran into, some even make you bleed. Another way to describe it at times would be as if you had a pair of handcuffs on, digging into your flesh and leaving behind their marks. At times harsh and at other times, soft. Delicate, fragile, a world in which there is pain, love, heartache, a bittersweet suffering of that dark surrender.

My surrender has never came easy, I have often fought it, and wondered why. Let me share it with you, as you share yours with me. I have never believed surrender to be a nice lil gift all wrapped up, but instead something that you struggle for, even tho it is inherent inside of me.

So enjoy the ride....enjoy all that it can be.....just as I....

Vanilla or Not? What does the world see 'US" as?

This has been brought to my attention more than once over the past few months, since being collared to him. It makes me wonder what the world see's "US" as? Does it merely see us as lovers, the type of lovers where I wear some strange necklace around my throat? Whereas most do not even know it is from him, most merely think of it as a pretty chain with a strange lock. Something that an eccentric lady would wear. Having to do with my flair for the unique. It annoys me frankly, that I am not allowed to express to all those that are around me what exactly it stands for.

I wish I could. If you are married, people do not think twice about showing you their ring, admiring it, even taking pictures of it to show the world. But wearing his collar is different, it must be hidden from the world, from society. And if there are pictures taken of it, they too must be hidden away, or perhaps put on some website that will accept it for what it is. I was asked a question today by a friend, a newly acquired friend, "Is your collar like a wedding ring? With the same commitments? Is it the same living with your Master as a husband?" She is new to our lifestyle, and very curious about the differences, the similiarities......

So how to explain in simple terms, I would say layman, but that might not fit this situation, this lifestyle, where it is out of the norm so to speak. My replies to her were simple, but yet at the same time complex. Yes to me it is like a wedding ring, with the age-old commitments standing behind it, and then some.

I will honor him, I will obey him, I will love him til death do us part. Whether it be sickness or in health, richness or poorness. In good times and bad times, and in joy and sorrow. I will cherish him as long as I live. I will be only his and have sealed my fate with the collar around my throat. I have given him my heart, my soul, my mind and my flesh.

That pretty much sums it up, for I have given him my all, and all that is yet to come. So yes, the outside world might see this as vanilla, or lovers, or whatever other label they deem fit, but what I see it as is.......

Our life together.